Love Beyond Walls: How My Brother’s Memory Inspired My Mission

Amanda Crystal Coast
Oct 30
2 min read

After my brother passed away, I searched for a way to honor him that felt authentic to who he was—imperfect, human, and deeply loved. I didn’t want to just remember him; I wanted to transform his story into something redemptive, something that gave dignity back to others who had lost theirs in the eyes of the world.

A Call from Washington, D.C.

Three years ago, I received an inquiry from a bride in Washington, D.C. She had found me by googling “officiants near Butner, NC.” Even though I was nearly three hours away, my name surfaced—and she took a chance on reaching out.

Her request was unusual. Her fiancé was incarcerated, and she needed someone willing to marry them inside a federal prison.

She explained how difficult it had been to find anyone to agree to perform their ceremony. The few who did quote her were charging four times their normal rates. Another bride later shared that she paid an officiant $500 who failed the required background check and then vanished without a trace.

Listening to her, something in me shifted.

When Compassion Meets Calling

In his addiction, my brother had been arrested multiple times. His mugshot made the rounds online, and people treated his mistakes as his entire identity. They reduced him to his record instead of remembering the vibrant, kind, funny person that he was.

I saw how quickly society could strip someone of their humanity once they were behind bars—and I realized that, in my small way, I could push back against that.

That day, I made a vow:

I would give incarcerated couples the same respect, enthusiasm, and celebration that any other couple receives. I would treat their wedding as sacred, not scandalous.

I price these ceremonies fairly. I approach them with joy, not judgment. And I never ask about the crime. I don’t need to know. What matters to me is that two people found each other, despite the barriers between them.

Love Is Not Confined

Every April and October, I travel to Butner Federal Prison to officiate weddings for couples who have found love in the unlikeliest of places. These ceremonies take place in a setting few could imagine romantic—but what I witness inside those walls is pure devotion, courage, and hope.

Each time I stand before a couple in that space, I feel my brother with me. His presence reminds me that no one is beyond redemption, and that love has an incredible power to heal even the deepest wounds.

He was more than his addiction. More than his arrests. More than his death.

And through this work, I hope to remind others—and myself—that love still wins, even when life feels impossible.

Congratulations, Juanshe and Carlos

This month, I had the honor of uniting Juanshe and Carlos Newell inside Butner Federal Prison. Their joy was radiant, their vows sincere, and their love undeniable.

Every couple I meet there reinforces why I continue this mission.

Because love, when it’s real, knows no walls.